Fake Jon Gruden previews Monday night's game between the Chicago Bears and Detroit Lions.
Calvin Johnson -- You know what they call this guy, Jaws? Megatron! It's because he turns from a beast to a stud instantaneously and also once hung out with Shia LaBeouf.�You just don't find guys like this guy. The work ethic, the behind-the-scenes hard work, the work put in in practice, working in the film room, working for a living, working 9 to 5, working for the weekend; he does it all. What a talent. Mike, he may be the best player right now in the National Football League.
Brian Urlacher --�There's nothing else you can say about Brian Urlacher, but I'm gonna. Butkus. Singletary. Urlacher. These guys sound like linebackers, Jaws! I know you're glad you're not back there at quarterback tonight, am I right? (Laughs.) Urlacher�used to give me headaches when I was in Tampa, I'll tell ya, and he may be giving Matthew Stafford one tonight.
Ndamukong Suh -- You know what makes this guy special? His specialness. I call the Detroit Lions defensive line the Silver Bullets, which would make Suh Pete Coors. If his play was like a cold-activated mountain, he'd be constantly blue. Inside, outside, getting to the quarterback; what can't Suh do? And, let me tell you this: We met with this kid on Saturday and he's genuine class.
Matt Forte -- You know what Forte means in Latin, Mike? Strong. And that's what Matt Forte is: Forte. They used to call Walter Payton "Sweetness," well I call Matt Forte "Toughness." He's harder to bring down than Jaws in the buffet line. (Everyone laughs heartily.)
Detroit -- Recovery. Meaningful. Resurrection. Healing. Eminem. Nights like tonight are what football is all about, Jaws.
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