Andrew Strauss and Alastair Cook may not be the most scintillating of openers but they didn't need to be against Australia's meek bowlers
The Australians needed some cheering up at tea-time and in these circumstances the bloke on the public address system usually feels obliged to come to the rescue. "So at the interval England only lead by 17 runs," was his noble effort.
He omitted to mention that in the 78 overs of the England innings up until tea the Australians had contrived to take one wicket. A barren final session for the Australians was to follow and all our PA man announced at the close ? in a faltering voice ? was that there would be a 9.45am start on the last day of the Test.
In reality the bubble of Antipodean expectation, which had expanded with every run that Mike Hussey and Brad Haddin notched on Saturday, was deflated with rare and remarkable ease by England's opening pair.
For the last two decades England have been accustomed to being stuck in a steep and cavernous hole after three days of cricket at The Gabba. In every Test ? except the one in 1998 ? they have succumbed meekly. In 1998 they were dependent upon a biblical thunderstorm on the final afternoon to make their not-so-valiant escape. On that occasion the skies turned satanically dark and within 10 minutes the outfield was a lake.
By the close of play on Sunday this time around, it suited England that thunderstorms have so far been absent from Brisbane. Much better to go to Adelaide undefeated by virtue of their own efforts than be indebted to a timely downpour. An Ashes Test series is a marathon. Points can be scored in a drawn game and it may well be that the home bowling attack will head to South Australia, rarely the most hospitable of locations for bowlers, with their confidence significantly dented and their limbs weary.
What a contrast to the last 20 years. In all except the 1990 and 1998 matches Australia's captain has been able to utter those terrifying words on the fourth day: "Come and have a bowl, Shane", not to mention the odd "Get loose, Pigeon". Somehow "This end Xavier/Mitch/Marcus" does not prompt a mild quivering of Anglo-Saxon kneecaps or an immediate blip in the Gator Tracker, the ridiculous thing that Channel Nine uses to measure the heart-rate of players on the field (whatever next?).
However a few caveats are necessary before we start to address the trials of the Australian bowlers. Remember how England toiled manfully ? for most of the time ? for 93 overs in Australia's first innings without taking a wicket. They could not part two batsmen, albeit very fine ones, one of whom (Hussey) was supposed to be out of form while the other (Haddin) was returning from injury.
Before the match The Gabba strip was described in the local press as "a green monster", the implication being that it would terrify batsmen. Well, they are not averse to a teeny-weeny bit of hyperbole over here. By on the fourth day a more appropriate description was a "brown monster", which terrifies bowlers.
Widening cracks were visible on the strip but these are often deceptive in Australia. The soil around those cracks usually refuses to disintegrate in which case the surface remains trustworthy. At The Gabba there has been minimal movement in the air from conventional or reverse swing and very little off the pitch, whether sideways or up and down.
Once a period of reconnaissance has been completed this has proved to be a handy pitch to bat on. The occasion rather than the conditions provides the challenge. In these circumstances a captain needs a bowler with plenty of puff, a lot of bluff, some luck and a touch of genius. Warne usually fitted the bill nicely.
Even so, here was a stark reminder of the difficulties of captaining Australia in an era of mortal bowlers. And we were made very aware of their mortality today. Ben Hilfenhaus, as worthy as they come, will never let his captain down but there was no harmony with Ponting.
It was bewildering to watch him bowl to England's openers in mid-afternoon with a 7-2 off-side field. This can always be a dodgy, slightly desperate ploy. But here Hilfenhaus was inclined to bowl straight, rather than outside off-stump and a delighted Strauss and Cook picked off their runs on the leg-side. The field set and the direction of Hilfenhaus's bowling simply did not match.
Peter Siddle is patently earnest and his zeal was rewarded in the first innings with that hat-trick. Of greatest concern to the Australian camp must be the form of Mitchell Johnson, who by the fourth evening was still runless, wicketless and catchless in the match. The conundrum is that Johnson ? with his superb Test record ? is both Australia's likeliest match-winner and their greatest liability.
Xavier Doherty has not disgraced himself bowling at Panesar pace and with similar accuracy. And at least Marcus North conjured a wicket on Sunday. But regardless of Graeme Swann's hiccups in the first innings ? he bowled well enough to everyone bar Hussey ? Australia will still struggle to match England's spin department in this series.
So without recourse to too much rocket science we have established that this is not a vintage Australian attack. But do not let that belittle the efforts of Andrew Strauss and Alastair Cook. No, they are not better than Jack Hobbs and Herbert Sutcliffe though when they were mentioned alongside them there was some hilarious consternation among our Australian colleagues.
Nor does this opening pair have tardy spectators breaking into a trot to ensure that they are present for the first over of the day. Down the years Keith Stackpole, Michael Slater and Matthew Hayden have demanded a prompt arrival at the ground. So have Bob Barber, Graham Gooch and Marcus Trescothick for England. But the prospect of Strauss and Cook taking guard does not necessarily require the frappuccino to be left half-drunk (yes, there are plenty of those to be had in Brisbane nowadays).
Likewise, after their experiences at The Gabba on Sunday, the prospect of bowling at Strauss and Cook no longer seems quite so appetising for this Australian attack.
Jarron Gilbert
Kedric Golston
Amon Gordon
Howard Green
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